Entitled

What does that word mean to you?

What do you deserve? What do you expect from other people?

My friend Christine was counseling me about some criticism I had received on a site I recently posted my Color Drenched Metal tutorial on and she brought this word up; entitled.

It was so right on perfect for what these people expected from me and it has shown itself in a few other circumstances that I was dealing with at the same time.

Then it showed up in one of Danielle LaPorte's posts and further confirmed my new recognition of "entitlement".

She said it best with these words here;

".....people with entitlement issues are goddamn irritating. They want more than they're willing to give upfront. They operate in a fog of hunger and conflicting intentions. Entitled types are frantic below the surface because they don't trust that they can feed themselves. What they need is a long hug and then to be sent off for some solo time, without credit cards."

Why this is relevant to me is because people who are criticizing me and my work are feeling entitled. Even though they could take the time, put in the money and feel the freedom to experiment and make mistakes as I did, they could learn about patinas all by themselves. They do not need me, they do not need my learning experience, they do not need my products. They can go and do what I did over the last 2 years and never even have to think about me.

So why are they up in my face, making demands on my time, stating they think the tutorial should be free or that they can't justify the cost of learning, they just want to buy the patinas and know how they work? Because they feel entitled. They do not want to put in the time and the work and the wasted materials, here someone has already done that and they just want it. They do not want to hear NO and they react irrationally when NO is given, however politely re-worded. 

I need to learn how to enamel. I am waiting patiently for Barbara Lewis's book to come out so I can own a copy of her work experience and learn from her, referring back to it when I hit a problem or encounter something not working. I will gladly pay Barbara for this and I do not expect her to answer 8 different emails or conversations on how to use the enamels she sells.

Or Kerin Gale's book on resin clay. I need to know what she knows in order to bring to fruition ideas I have for this product I have not used. She has used it, and she is releasing a book on how I can use it. I will happily pay for whatever form she releases this information in; video workshops, the book or online tutorials because she is saving me the time, the money and the mistakes I would make learning this on my own.
Do you see my point? You either go and do it yourself or you PAY someone else to do it for you.

One customer left inaccurate feedback stating that you have to buy my patinas in order to achieve the results you see in the tutorial. This is completely false. I not only share the manufacturer of the patinas, but I tell you how to mix them and layer them to create YOUR OWN. The patinas I offer are a convenience, you can acquire all the colors of the rainbow for $80 whereas at other distributors you would need to purchase over $200 to get all the colors.  If you want to do that, go and do that. In fact several of my friends and tutorial customers have bypassed me to purchase larger amounts they know they will use in their personal work. They know they can do this because they read the tutorial, they read the whole thing, not just parts, but the whole thing. I am excited for them to take this as far as they want to go and I appreciate them sharing my name as someone who inspired them. 

Another customer is angry I have not shared my chain technique. I kept this out of the tutorial for several reasons, the most important being I cannot type out instructions on the chain process in a way that you will achieve the same results as I have. How I do my patina-ted chain needs to be demonstrated. You can figure it out on your own but it will result in some trial and error and as you will see chain, even in base metal form, is not cheap.

I worked hard to to evenly apply the heat application patinas to long lengths of chain so the patina is thoroughly coated among each link. I wasted tons of footage trying to find out how to not gunk up the chain with lacquer and keep the chain fluid. It is not a written word technique.

I am offering workshops in 2011 for the chain technique, they will be pricey in comparison to the tutorial because that is the price I need to be paid in order to fully share how to patina and seal chains professionally.

I wish I was well off and could experiment at whim, share what I have learned without needing to make my money back. Life would be so awesome and everyone would love me and instead of negative feedback, I would get hugs and smiley faces.

But that is not my life, I cannot afford to put this much time into something and then spend even more time giving it away for free. I cannot answer individual emails and convos worded like this;

"How to use?" for an $8 bottle of patina. 

That is what the tutorial is for, so I do not have to spend hours of each day explaining extensive techniques and giving people safety tips.

While I am sorry if you do not understand this, it doesn't change that fact that you are NOT owed this.

You are not entitled to my time or my knowledge. It is my own to do with as I see fit. 

I have several people who will vouch for me that I am very generous with my time and knowledge to those who treat me respectfully.

The irony here is that I am preaching to the choir. No one who has taken the time to read my blog is going to question my dedication and motives, it the people who make judgments without learning all the facts who are the ones that need to be explained all of this.

That's alright, at least you guys listened. 

You totally rock for that.

An addition;

Please do not think for one second I am not happy to help answer questions to help you get patinas right. I love talking about it, these few instances were just really disrespectful people and I could no longer do business with them.