Blessings Post No.1

I am taking the advise of one of my new wise women friends and creating a blessings journal.

Too much bad stuff has happened in a short period of time and I am fighting to remain positive, peaceful and helpful to my fellow mankind.

While I still enjoy the printed word, I am also seeing new life through the camera so I would like to share a blessing I have with you.

She turns darkness to light.

She bubbles up with excitement over things like walking the neighbors dog, getting her hands dirty, going for rides, straight legs in a cartwheel.

She adds color to my real life.

 

One of the most amazing things about her is how she thinks about other people. You saw her birthday video? How she turns the conversation to me? She does that with everyone and with everything. 

She did that here with the Fu Fu sign she painted on my work bench. She knows it's my favorite tree (a mimosa tree with the fuzzy pink fraggle rock lookin flowers?). 

She wants to get to know her neighbors "so we can check on them and see they're alright".

She seems born with that sense of community most people need to be reminded of.

I feel she was sent to me to balance my reclusiveness. 

Some people draw their energy from others, just like her daddy, and they can't be kept from what they receive as extroverts. 

As her mama, I have the keys and (sometimes) the cash to get her there and a chauffeuring sponsor is a role I will gladly embrace to help her fulfill all her dreams. 

I love you, Little Blessing.

Pinky Turns 8

Look out world. 

You have no idea what I have unleashed into this universe!

Each year I interview the kiddos with "what's your favorite" type questions. These interviews help me remember the small details of their rapidly passing childhood and create warm fuzzies feelings to cherish forever.
 This year I get to record them on my computer and use them for leverage when they are older.

Here is Pinky's 8th birthday interview.....

Part 1



 Part 2

I am SO SORRY about the gum smacking!!!
I have to have gum in my mouth to stop myself from eating, drinking and smoking too much, so I do not even realize I'm doing it!
Bare with me and I will work on my video presentation, okay?
Hopefully you were more focused on my darling pixie pie?

Would you like to meet my Back-Bone?

Matsuka painting in her studio.

(someday this picture will be worth thousands of dollars!)

My Mama.

She loves me.

Even loves the things I hate about myself.

She helps me stand up straight and make good decisions. 

She lets me cry and be selfish. But only to a point, then she gives me a swift kick in the pants.

She helps me with the kids when my sadness overwhelms me to the point I can't face them.

When my biological father left her 7 months pregnant with me and my 2 year old brother, took the only car they had and then said horrible things about her to all their friends, she didn't just lie down and give up.

She scrounged out a living for us as a waitress, building year after year until we were comfortable.

She didn't even have all the friends that I do, she was completely alone.

Except for her faith.

She is an overcomer and knowing I have that in my blood, makes me feel like facing each day.

I love you, Matsuka.

Thank you for showing me what is really important.
Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Easter!

Shoot! I can't even log into flickr!

Here are the pastel tags from yesterday's egg dying;

Now, see. I have handmade tags, ready to go for next years inventory that goes out after Valentine's Day.
Does that make sense?
I am now so far behind, I am a year ahead.
Master Bender of Time and Space that I am.

These pretty, sturdy little tags can be tied on to necklaces, bracelets and hole punched for simple earrings.
I'd make the jewelry now too, since you're in the mood for spring! Don't make anything trendy right now, just classic designs that people love;
Polymer clay egg charms by Floridity

 Green Girl Studio's Bumble Friend;

Gwydions Gardens' Bird Nest Charm;

These type of focals make jewelry assembly fast and easy and they are for sure sellers, pair them with your favorite cording or chain, price them to sell and with your lovely dyed egg tags you have presentation and organization covered.

My Dye Helpers;

Yes, a good time had by us all, we moved on to napkins for our Easter dinner and wet wipes because we noticed they held up under the dye application better.
And just a bit of loveliness before I go....
Pinky recognized the Peter Rabbit clip art I included on the large tags and recounted the story she remembered from years ago, putting the tags in the order of the story!

   Happy Easter, everyone! May your ham be salty and your chocolate eggs be calorie free! 

Spring Break Is Here

The count down started a month ago.

Imprisoned youth; desperate for fresh air, earth and sun, would willingly be released from the state for a period of  9 days.

Elijah, Christian, Olivia, Makayla and Chloe

 We were so thankful for the gorgeous weather!
We tore up some play ground, poked at frogs, wore new shoes in mud and feel asleep exhausted.

 

Christian conquers a rock climbing wall.

 

Pinky is rockin the 80's fashion revival.

A moments rest.

To new friendships....

Aunt Nanner tries to get on their level.

At the Frog Pond

A very protective big cousin.

G.G. & Her Grandbabies

Life feels good.

A frame-able moment with my girl. 

I hope you yourself get a break with lungs filled with fresh air and the wonder of child discovery part of your spring.
Thank you for letting me share mine!

Pinky's Healthy Food Chart (especially for Mama!)

This video is for entertainment purposes only and not intended to replace advise from an actual medical doctor or dietary specialist.

:)

A Make-Over with Pinky

Yep. I went to a professional for a little help.

She went with something she referred to as a "Cool Sweetheart Look".

My favorite part?

Having her little hands on my face and her breath on my cheek.

Hey now. Be nice.

Learn all the facts before you go judging me.

Science Center April 2009

I never showed myself before now, because I was overweight and embarrassed about how I looked.

I was overweight because I ate too much of the wrong foods and I didn't move my body enough.

That was my problem, not to be confused with whatever YOUR problem is; medical, emotional, genetic.... whatever. You would know better than I. 

But I worked really hard. 

First conquering my addiction to sugar, making sure I ate under 11 grams of sugar each day. This change allowed me to fight cravings for the wrong foods and start making better food choices.

Like plant based foods...... lots of fruits and vegetables.

Than I started walking. Just a little bit at first, going further and further each day. Walking harder in sand dunes that stretched and activated atrophied muscles.

I started to feel better. I didn't crash. I slept more soundly. My moods were more even and my menstrual cycle didn't completely halt my life like it used to, due to less pain.

I looked better, I had better self esteem and I wanted to do even more for myself.

So I started wii fit yoga. Just 20 minutes a day. Still walking, still not eating sugar.....

The results were immediate. 

I got to buy new clothes in a size 10!

I hadn't been a size 10 since after Christian was born in 2000!

So I kept going, I was alone a lot so I had more time to think about me. But the kids encouraged me from the couch as I added strength training and running to my every other day routine.

Where I had back pain and fatigue all the time before, I now had flexibility and stamina!

 I could lift heavy things. I could run with my kids.

It was so beautifully healthy and it was happening at the worse time in my life, I had no one to share it with. The person I had always gone to for encouragement and celebration was gone.

So I share my new self respect with you.

I share my new found happiness with clothes and accessories with you.

I am not worthless. I am not stupid, ugly or boring.

I'm just me.
:)

and I can say that I HAD a problem with overeating and a sedentary life before but now I do not.

And I am really proud of that fact.

Much Love & Respect,

Shannon

You know me.

 

You know what I am about. What I have always been about.

See my labels word cloud down there on the side bar? ---------------->

The largest label is FAMILY.

http://missficklemediacom.blogspot.com/search/label/family

What do I do now?

Who do I love?

Who do my kids look up to?

How will I ever feel complete again?

I'm so sorry for turning what was once an inspirational blog full of encouragement, ideas and lovely visuals into sordidness.

Reading words like "Penis" and "Vagina" are not why you come here and I am really embarrassed.

If I could explain that I thought he was saying his sweet words to me, about a picture of me before I realized he was sending them to her, and that in spite of what he has done, I felt HOPE. As if he wanted me again and was reaching out to me. Then to see it was not meant for me but someone else, it was devastation all over again. And the pain of rejection came rushing back anew.

It caused a character defect of hate and jealousy. 

I know time will help this confusion. I know my friends are rallying around me.

I know I will smile and laugh with my children again.

I know I will create again.

Thank you for understanding and forgiving me.

Much Love & Respect,

Shannon

A New Directive

I am stronger than I know.

Okay, so I am sharing this here with my friends, some of you already know as I have had to seek counsel from other women who have gone through similar situations. After reading Crucial Confrontations, I believe that silence is the worst thing to withdraw to.

They say (the authors of this fantastic book) that we often choose silence over crucial confrontations because we are fearful of repercussions, when the repercussions are actually less damaging then the damage silence itself does.

Mr.Lovey has left Miss.Fickle.

Yes, it was very sudden and I am still reeling.

I was in it for life.
I was prepared to care for him whether he was fit and healthy or overweight and sick. 

I'm pretty sure I proved that.
I do not know if he ended up just having some mid-life crisis, a chemical reaction to meds, or a break down from the guilt of betrayal but it went so badly so quickly all I can do is protect myself, grieve and move on.

In spite of all he has done, I hope he gets help for himself so he can be reunited with his kids.
In the meantime I have to provide for these kiddos.

My Plan;

I am setting up shop on Big Cartel so I can pay off my etsy bill.

I am getting counseling for the kids and I.

I am living with my parents so I can earn a lump sum of money to provide housing for the kids and I.

I am getting advice from a financial adviser to rebuild my business correctly.

I am working on my OWN credit score after being a pizza delivery girl, a stay at home mom and then an online entrepreneur for the last 15 years.

I am lonely and heartsick but I know I have value and I am capable of abundant, faithful love.

So I don't want you to worry. 

However, I can't seem to pick up the phone and reach out to people, so please keep sending me emails. I am using them to get each day going.

Much Love & respect,

Shannon

missficklemedia@gmail.com

Summer can't be over

 

I can't believe they have to go back to school already.

There is still so much more to see and do.

12 years ago this day

I literally threw my heart at his face and said "Take your best shot, Cowboy."

He caught it gently, wrapped it up and has protected it in his pocket for 12 years.

Happy Anniversary,  Mike.

It is an honor to be your wife.

Princess Pinky and The Fairy Swing

And now for something pretty and magical!

She stops me in my tracks when I walk past the front window, hair streaming behind her, bare feet kicked up high, singing and smiling.

Her big papa cut her a piece of red oak, sanded it smooth and affixed it with rope to the strongest tree branch.

We are going to wind lights around the tree trunk and make recycled fairy flowers to hang from the branches.

We'll keep you posted!

Summer is totally revved up.

Pinky and the Watermelon

Bro Surfing

Hurling Boy

A Visit from Grandma Dee.

No More Wound Dressing!

And me.

Busy picking up after everybody and trying in vain to control sand home invasion.

Riding one of the largest sales months missficklemedia has experienced since 2007.

Walking an hour each day, not eating sugar and losing over 10lbs.

Finished 3 magazine articles, proof read 1, shipped out 2 more designs, submitted 4 more.

Experienced total rejection for all 4 designs.

Finished a book project that I was worried about, 1 week early.

Designed, created and inventoried over 50 new pieces for a store.

Searching for a new 6th grade curriculum.

Read an actual book on Florida's native people.

Designed a new collection for a new account I hope to get. 

Making new friends for both Mike & I and the kids.

What I am not getting done;

My own book.

Articles for ABS.

Blog commenting.

Serious housework.

But really, over all, a very productive month.

:)